J.O.K.E. (Journal Of K1ng Eljay) – “A Letter To SlaughterHouse…”

I swear, Slaughterhouse is like hood, hip-hop Power Rangers. I can dig it though.

To the S.H. Machine,

I know you guys are all busy recording music and fighting crime as your secret night jobs as superheroes, so I won’t waste your time. I’ll just get right to it.

Usually I’m all for peace. I really think it shows immaturity when two people or groups that dislike each other can’t co-exist. In every public venue, there’s bound to be people that don’t like each other, whether it’s a job or a club or wherever. Even in music, I prefer peace…usually.

But in this case, I’m willing to make an exception.

See, I’ve been following the demise/downfall of Benzino since he screwed over The Source and single-handedly devalued its rating system and my favorite hip-hop magazine (at the time). Remember when getting 5 Mics in the Source used to mean something?

During this downfall, he had words with Eminem and basically said he needed to die, in which Eminem handed him his butt on a platter… And then released “Nail In The Coffin” for kicks and giggles. Everyone stopped listening after that. Shady killed him, we moved on.

So when in the middle of last year when Benzino suddenly decides to crawl out and make a couple of diss records and take a few shots at Eminem and at you guys…everyone ignored it.

Well, it seems like it, because I didn’t know he had been talking until about a week ago, and the Youtube videos date back to as far as July (which was right about the time the SlaughterHouse LP had just come out). So OBVIOUSLY, his opinion doesn’t matter anymore. So obviously, we are all completely aware that it would be a waste to just unload on this guy on a track. It’s a waste of energy, and a waste of time.

But…

Seriously...JUST...LOOK..AT...HIM. I don't even have to MAKE a funny caption, because you can just look and automatically spit out whatever you're drinking. It's TOO easy.

He’s asking for it, don’t you think? So here’s my PLEA. I know how y’all take shots at people and keep moving…I see how Royce tweets about it occasionally…

But it would be great if you guys go ahead and just finish him. I mean, Mortal Kombat “Fatality” style. I mean, Joe Budden at Prodigy in the last verse of “Blood On The Wall” style. I want the Royce Da 5”9 “Who Got Bodied”, streetsweeper-status type diss.

(I would say I want a Nas “Ether” style-diss, but obviously, it wasn’t that much of an “Ether” because Nas went and signed to a label ran by the guy he Ethered, and then the supposed “Ether” victim jumped ship and left Nas to drown, but whatever. That’s a different topic)

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the reason he’s dissing now is for attention. So I think that maybe this one time you should just blast on him for your fans sake.

LYRICALLY. Not with real guns and rocket launchers. I know how y’all do…

At the very least, you could use it as something to hold the fans over until the next album comes out…

Or you can ignore him and let him just rot to death somewhere unimportant. Your call.

But I personally dig the diss idea. I know it might not be as noble of a thing to do, considering your secret superhero duties. But we don’t know which superheroes you are, so…

Just consider the idea.

Signed,

K1ng Eljay