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Archive for October, 2009

Oct 29

Arnold = Legal Fail?

arnold-schwarzenegger-small

Tom Ammiano...Terminator's got something for you... LOL

So I got on AIM tonight and saw this article. For those of you lazy to read that (like I would be, lol)…

Pretty much, The Terminator- I mean, Arnold Schwerz… Schwarzenig…

*goes to Google*

Ahem, pretty much, Arnold Schwarzenegger (ha!) shot down some proposal for something via some memo by some guy (Tom Ammiano) who’s some lawmaker or something. The problem is that it “supposedly” had a nice subliminal message to it.

Click here for the direct link to the memo.

If you didn’t catch it from reading that… the memo is legit, but on the left side, each first letter in each line of text spells out this:

T-I-F-U-C-K-Y-O-U-S-A.

LOL. Well alright then Arnold. Accidental? Maybe, I guess it was bound to happen eventually. I still think it’s hilarious.

There you go. Your laugh for the night.

Well…it’s definitely my laugh for the night.

Content coming soon, as usual.

King Eljay

Oct 24

5 Comments

“Law Abiding Citizen” (Movie Review)

Jamie Foxx would've looked at the screen, but he probably got distracted thinking about the serenade he gave/received from Fantasia a while back.

Jamie Foxx would've looked at the screen, but he probably got distracted thinking about the serenade he gave/received from Fantasia a while back.

Remember earlier this year I posted a music review for SlaughterHouse? And I pretty much gushed about how I loved everything about it, and it REALLY sounded like a fan boy reviewing the album even though I was being as completely unbiased as possible? That’s about to happen again.

Right now.

“Law Abiding Citizen”, starring Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx, is one of the best movies (if not THE best movie) I’ve seen this year. Thriller/Dramas can be good, but this one had no mistakes.

The Good: I don’t want to ruin the plot of this movie, but one of the things this movie does is somewhat blur the line between good and bad. Technically there’s not a REAL bad guy except the ones in the first four minutes of the movie…which, by the way, is INTENSELY TRAGIC, but motivates the rest of the story. It calls out the justice system in a way that’s different, but extremely effective. Let’s just say… you’ll get the idea about halfway through the movie.

The acting is great, and as great of an actor that Jamie Foxx is, Gerard Butler proves (AGAIN) he belongs on the big screen. He was great in “300”, he was better in “Gamer” (seriously, “Gamer” was solid), and this is one of those movie roles that could open him up to star in a LOT of movies in the future. I’m officially a fan of him. That’s not saying that Jamie didn’t do well, however. As a matter of fact, there wasn’t a bad actor in this whole movie. They all did extremely well, so if you’re looking for a flaw in that regard you won’t find it.

The Bad: This movie pulls on almost every emotion you own, from comedy, to sadness, to betrayal, and even the reaction you get from seeing the aftermath of a man cut into 25 pieces…

…wait, I mean horror. I meant to say horror. The last part could be filed under “horror” definitely. Also, I must state that this is not a kid’s movie. It’s rated R for language and violence, easily.

lac fox

Actually, he doesn't look too happy either...

lac butler

I feel bad for the cameraman he's mean-mugging...

The Spartan: Ever since Gerard Butler’s appearance in “300”, I’ve grown more and more impressed with his acting skills. Anybody could act in front of a green screen wearing a man-cloth , but the way he acted in this movie was nothing short of award-winning. Besides, whenever Roger Ebert starts using words no normal human being would even think of saying (his words: “‘Law Abiding Citizen’ is a taut thriller about a serial killer in reverse…”), you know it’s something notable to at least keep an eye on.

{Note: For the record, I don’t read his reviews. I just thought the first line was funny and I researched it because of what my friend told me, but he’s proved to me over the years that we almost completely disagree in movie taste. To each his own.}

Bottom Line: I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. There’s nothing bad I can say about it. There’s an explanation for everything that happens in the movie EXCEPT the consequences of one of the last scenes, but that was the point of the whole movie: justice. And it was served, regardless of the circumstances. My recommendation: go see “Law Abiding Citizen”…

…And then afterwards, check your car, cell phone, and don’t go through any cemeteries on your way home.

—–> Final Rating: 4.9 / 5 <—–

Movie Afterthoughts: …The cell phone scene in the court room comes full circle in a way that made the entire theater FLIP OUT… I was with two of my friends and we all jumped and swore when it happened. I’ll admit it… Do not get emotionally attached to anyone in this movie… Don’t OVERTHINK in this movie either, it stays focused on the topic… The Mayor of the city is a lady, and she reminds me of my Auntie for all the wrong reasons. Kind of scary…. It bothers me the official title for the movie is “Law Abiding Citizen” and not “Law-Abiding Citizen”. Yes, the hyphen omission bothers me. I’m a nerd sometimes, so what…Usually it makes me cringe in movies when people reference the title, but it fit this time…Anyone remember when Jamie Foxx only did comedy roles? He’s come a long way… Anyone remember when Gerard Butler only did roles as a naked Spartan? He’s come a long way… Who uses the word “taut” in normal conversation??…

Oct 22

Royce Da 5’9: “Street Hop” (Album Review)

Personally, I'm just glad his head isn't doing the "Shiny, Mr. Clean" thing. That would suck. Props to the album cover artist for that.

Personally, I'm just glad his head isn't doing the "Shiny, Mr. Clean" thing. That would suck. Props to the album cover artist for that.

I’ve been following Royce since he signed, fell out, and then reconciled with Eminem and the Shady Records camp. He’s dropped the Eminem backed album “Rock City” (which I still unfortunately haven’t heard in its entirety….don’t judge me), which got heavily bootlegged, then renamed to Version 2, and then subsequently flopped.

After that’s he’s been struggling to make the “Reference” album, which is what all artists should have. The one album that people associate to an artist, whether good or bad… Eminem has “The Marshall Mathers LP”, Dre had “The Chronic 2001”, 50 had “Get Rich or Die Trying”, Jay-Z had “The Blueprint”, etc.

In the meantime, he’s dropped two CLASSIC mixtapes (“The Bar Exam” and “Bar Exam 2”) in which he shows off renewed focus and a lyrical prowess that was virtually unmatched (except by his SlaughterHouse brothers). With this mindset, he goes back into making the album “Street Hop.”

He can struggle no more. This SHOULD be the album to shake off the doubters about his ability to make a consistent record solo. There’s something about hanging around those SlaughterHouse cats that did him good…

The Good: The term “Lyrical Armageddon” comes to mind when listening to this album. Charismatic punchlines are ALL throughout the album, and Royce flips and switches flows mid-flow like it’s an 18-speed bike heading down a hill at full speed… In other words, it’s effortless for him. Albums like this seriously should make rappers consider finding a new day-job.

The concepts for each song was solid, and the interlude/skits are ROFLMAO funny (“Ho-Jack!” LOL *dead*). However, the surprising thing about this album isn’t the amazing production or even the wordplay, because lately Royce has been all about quality. The biggest thing that extremely impressed me will be explained later.

A while ago, Royce released "The Revival EP", a small sample of what to expect from the full album "Street Hop." It promised a lot, but the album delivered. Very well done.

A while ago, Royce released "The Revival EP", a small sample of what to expect from the full album "Street Hop." It promised a lot, but the album delivered. Very well done.

The Bad: HONESTLY I had to be honest with myself, because I noticed that because he’s in SlaughterHouse, I’m a little biased. But a couple of songs were clever with its delivery but the overall point of the song was just BS rap, but even the BS rap songs are SO well-done and clever, it’s hard to complain about it.

“Soldier” brings in a “Snatchback/Rewind” introduction to each verse, “Mine In Thiz” goes into psychotic Royce rap (Mr. Porter went CLOVERFIELD STATUS on the production for that track, GEEZ)and “Bad Boy” has Royce channeling his Jamaican flow, so the term BS rap might not even apply if you want to analyze it.

The Urban Narrative: The most impressive tracks on the CD are the ones where Royce turns into a storyteller. “On The Run” tells a story of Royce set in a different alternate reality in which he’s caught at a hotel by cops. After that, the track “Murder” flashes to earlier and how his decision to pursue someone led him into his death. And then a little later, Royce tells a story of a guy trying to hit it big by being a sleaze ball in the club who runs into the wrong two girls.

When I say the wrong two girls…I mean… They put Lorena Bobbit to SHAME. By the end of the album, I found myself as engrossed in his narrative as I was with Andre 3000’s and Eminem’s…

Bottom Line: This album is fire. Is it his best album to date? I think so, but the verdict is still out on that. I do know it’s one of the best 5 albums (as of now) of the year, and that there should be no doubt in anyone’s head that he can make albums. It’s something about those slaughterhouse dudes that’s special… but then again, what else do you expect from the General of the SlaughterHouse Machine?

—–> Final Rating: 4.5 / 5 <—–

Favorite Tracks

  • “On The Run/Murder” <–AMAZING.
  • “Mine In Thiz” feat. Mr. Porter
  • “Gun Harmonizing” feat. Crooked I
  • “Count For Nothing”

Oct 22

Mr. Hudson: “Straight No Chaser” (Album Review)

The only single I had heard from Mr. Hudson before doing this review was the singles on Jay-Z’s album, “Blueprint 3” and one of those singles “Forever Young” just isn’t that good in my opinion. I think I heard him lending vocals on “A Star Is Born” as well… Regardless, I’d heard his voice, and got the album, “Straight No Chaser” in my inbox.

The Good: To be honest, this album was actually better than I had expected. Listening to this album puts me into the same mood I had while listening to Kanye’s “808s and Heartbreak”, which is a good thing for the most part. The production is eclectic to say the least, but that’s also in a good way. The songs are catchy and lyrically sound, and each

Is Hudson his first or last name? And that blurrry image is a little "Paranormal Activity"ish...lol

Is Hudson his first or last name? And that blurrry image is a little "Paranormal Activity"ish...lol

cameo adds to the vibe of the album…

…Except Kid CuDi’s. I know technically this is his avenue, but I didn’t like him in his one (whew) appearance.

And surprisingly… a couple of the songs just KNOCK HARD in speakers. “Straight No Chaser” (the title track) just sounds great from the beginning, and his vocals go well with most of the songs on the album. Even if you don’t like a song originally, some of the songs are composed to escalate, so for me a lot of the songs (“Supernova”, “White Lies”, “Instant Messenger”) take a minute to catch on for me.

The Bad: If you read the Good, you can kind of see what I’m about to expound on. The album does flow well together, but it sounds the same. Most of the album has the same vibe to it, which is a double-edged sword in this case. If you like the album, then there you go. If not… you’re going to have a huge issue with this one. This is not a typical music album, and I don’t even like to clarify it as R&B because it sounds so different.

The “Why Are You HERE?!”: I said this earlier, but it’s so important that it bears repeating. Kid CuDi. No. I’m not hating, but for “Straight No Chaser”, I’d rather not hear him. If anything, I was more impressed with Kanye on this album because his appearances were great for the most part (for this type of album, of course).

Bottom Line: It’s different. But it’s quality.And it’s possible that in a week it might grow on me. If you like “808’s and Heartbreaks” and Kid CuDi’s album (which is too long to type, lol) then this is something you MIGHT want to check out. However, if you didn’t like those albums…there’s nothing really for you here, except the Outro track, “Time.”

—–> Final Rating: 3 / 5 <—–

Favorite Tracks

  • “Straight No Chaser”
  • “Time”
  • “Supernova” (with Kanye West)
  • “Lift Your Head”

Oct 15

Dorrough: “Dorrough Music” (Album Review)

You can kind of tell what kind of album it is by the cover....That's not stereotyping it at all, it's just what it is.

You can kind of tell what kind of album it is by the cover....That's not stereotyping it at all, it's just what it is.

Dorrough’s venture into music is stapled by his hit single “Ice Cream Paint Job.” It is arguably the shallow radio smash of the year. It’s talking about cars, yes. But the instrumental to it and the near-fatally addictive hook to accompany it makes it almost impossible not to sing along. So is there any other songs on the album even worth listening to? Better yet, is the album worth actually purchasing?

The Good: The whole album’s production is solid trunk music. If you need an album to just put in, no lyrical substance to REALLY think about, a couple of solid songs you can put on repeat, then this one might be what you need. It’ll cure your itch for a traditional “South” CD if that’s what you want. It does have a couple of songs that are nice on here, and the introduction to the CD (“Boy I Grind”) is about AS lyrical as Dorrough is going to get for the entire album.

The Bad: The problem is… Dorrough isn’t lyrical at all. It’s almost elementary rhymes that he spits at times over the tracks. The songs with cameos have stronger presences from the guests than from Dorrough himself. And most of the songs just aren’t….

….how to put this…

Some songs just SUCK. “Caramel Sundae” is just not GOOD. “What’s My Ringtone” had the potential to be a SMASH single, but something about it is just not appealing. And I can’t bring myself to even feel “Feel This” enough to recommend it. It could be so much better, but it’s not, and it’s disappointing.

Bottom Line: If you want southern trunk music, go and buy Rich Boy’s first album. It’s done better in every which way possible, and it’s more hip-hop than you’d expect. Dorrough has a couple of nice songs, but it’s going to take more than that to keep him relevant. Period.

—–> Final Rating: 1.5 / 5 <—–

Oct 15

3 Comments

New Boyz: “Skinny Jeans And A Mic” (Album Review)

Such a clever group name...the album HAS to be DOPE, right?? Right?!?!?!

Such a clever group name...the album HAS to be DOPE, right?? Right?!?!?!

So there are these cats, right? Legacy and Ben J. Young cats, both have decent flows, and are more creative than most mainstream rappers on the radio right now. They call themselves the “New Boyz” and are both under 19 (if I remember correctly). Sounds promising.

So what’s the issue?

Two things. One: Skinny Jean Fiends. Two: they have a dance.

And just like that, half of the people reading this review closed the page. I honestly can’t blame you. The state of hip-hop and even RAP is in peril right now, and the last thing we need on the radio is another dance. But me personally, I’d rather have another dance on the RADIO than another song about getting wasted or shooting people. ESPECIALLY after the Derrion Albert tragedy a while ago..

My interest was sparked when I heard their song “Crickets” feat. Tyga of Young Money fame, so I found a copy of the album online…because I wasn’t going to pay to listen to a CD titled “Skinny Jeans And A Mic””. Sorry dudes.

The Good: All jokes aside, Legacy has some DOPE punchlines. I could seriously imagine him as a solo artist in a couple of years. He was super charismatic on this album, and he usually always had a nice punchline OR he was just funny. They both are funny characters on tracks. Not necessarily on videos….Especially not too much on videos…

There are flashes of brilliance on this album. The song “Way 2 Many Chickz” is laugh out loud funny, and could arguably be the ONLY song that Ben J actually tops his counterpart. Also, the track “Cashmere” shows them going back and forth competing for the affections of a girl, with an unexpected twist at the end that makes them take a somewhat schoolyard approach to her (“Cashmere, Cashmere, when I said I like you I lied / Cashmere, Cashmere, I’m over here, uncross your eyes..”). There are some good things about this album.

The Bad: My chief problem with this album is that they’re marketed towards kids it seems, but this album has a “Parental Advisory: Explicit Content” label waiting for it. There’s a lot of profanity from these kids for the most part. Other problems do abound though, such as most of the album having the same tone/vibe to it (you can jerk to the whole cd, except maybe one or two tracks), Ben J just not coming through lyrically for the most part, and some of the songs just not being good…period.

Bottom Line: The album shows promise, and it’s possible they could be around for another album, but they have to figure out their direction quickly. They’re not marketed to kids, and they’re not for adults, so technically they’re alienating all of the people that would support them. That’s their main problem, and if they find a lane, they could ride it out for a long time. But for now, “Skinny Jeans And A Mic” is just confusing and frustrating for hip-hop heads because it shows promises… but it’s drowned in mediocrity.

Check the singles on Youtube (the ones I mentioned, not their actual “singles”) for a solid laugh, but that’s pretty much all the appeal they will have for you and for me right now.

—–> Final Rating: 2 / 5 <—–

Favorite Tracks:

  • “Way 2 Many Chickz”
  • “Cashmere”
  • “Tie Me Down” feat. Ray J (autotune heavy…warning…)

Oct 7

Zombieland (Movie Review)

You think Lysol would be a wise investment in Zombieland?

You think Lysol would be a wise investment in Zombieland?

I had to do a movie review of this for my school paper. The more I write for them, the more I realize how strict they are over stupid things, like blood, gore, profanity. Ok, so it’s not stupid, but at the same time everyone that reads it are adults, and they should be able to BY NOW to figure out if they want to see a movie or not based on the evidence in the review. I’m not even sure if that review will get put in the paper because I HEAVILY recommended this movie.

So I will introduce this the exact same way I did for the paper. “Ladies and gentlemen, be warned; this is a zombie flick. There are brains, blood, gore, and reckless profanity, so general discretion is advised.”

That is ALL that is wrong about this movie. If a comedy themed in a zombie-setting disturbs you, stop reading. If you’re remotely interested in this movie from what I’ve said so far…stop reading. Go see the movie. I can end the review right here. I won’t… but I could. Easily.

The Good: Zombie flicks usually have decent to crappy acting purposely (well, maybe not purposely). However, this is one of the first Z-flicks I’ve seen where the acting was GREAT to AWESOME. Woody Harrelson and Jessie Eisenberg are a hilarious tag team (think polar opposites) and the way they interact with everything and everyone in the movie is nothing short of pure fun.

All four of them are hilarious. It's too fun to watch.

All four of them are hilarious. It's too fun to watch.

The story is pretty much as simple as you think. Zombie virus has seemingly taken over the entire world. It’s all about survival. The surprise comes in the way some of the character’s background is presented, such as Woody’s obsession with the number 3…

The Bad The Better: This is where I usually talk bad about a movie, but the only thing I can say ill against this movie is what I said earlier concerning the blood, gore, profanity. There’s nothing else wrong with this movie. From the continual running jokes concerning finding a Twinkie (lol) to the now-CLASSIC “Rules To Surviving Zombieland” that Eisenberg’s character Columbus compiles and illustrates throughout the whole movie, to the underlying family theme of the movie, this is a well-done movie.

The Best?: The BEST thing about this movie for me personally is that this is a COMEDY based in a zombie world. In every essence of the words, it is a comedy first, and a zombie flick second. The movie never lets you forget that it’s a comedy… especially when they hit Hollywood and visit a superstar’s mansion with the initials of B.M.

And here's another hit...Barry Bonds... lol

And here's another hit...Barry Bonds... lol

Bottom Line: To be completely honest, I can’t remember a movie that I enjoyed more since The Hangover. Inglorious Basterds was solid, but it had slow points, and every other movie I can find flaws in (including the Hangover). This one…I really can’t. I personally enjoyed everything about it.

If you read completely through this review, there’s no reason for you to not see the movie if you’re remotely interested.

Final Rating: —–> 4.8 / 5 <—–

~~~

Randomness…Emma Stone is awesome….Favorite “Rule of Surviving Zombieland” by far is the “Double Tap”. This could’ve saved so many lives in ANY other movie… There are 32 rules to survive Zombieland, unfortunately all of them are not presented in the movie… this could have a sequel…I’d love a sequel… It’s cool that this movie is gory, but parts of extreme gore are kind of cut away from. Keeps the focus on the comedy and not the other elements of the movie…the 12 year old girl is a pretty good shot… Worst first girl encounter ever for Columbus at the beginning. LOL. Poor guy. I think he would’ve rather used the “double tap” in a different way…haha, get it?…

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