Under The Crown (A K1ng Eljay Blogsite)

Ok, I don’t know how else to say how epic this is. I had to repost this. I’m sorry. More original stuff later, but I want to meet this guy. Seriously. Read the story. My comments are below.

This was taken from a column at Allhiphop.com, verbatim:

~~~

This is a true story about a recent Wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank Everyone for coming, many from Long distances, to support them At their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank His new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation He said he wanted to give everyone A special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to Everyone, and asked them to Open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious Of them weeks earlier and had Hired a private detective to tail Them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions For a couple of minutes, he Turned to the best man and Said, ‘F—you!’ Then he turned To his bride and said, ‘F— you!’

Then he turned to the Dumbfounded crowd and said, ‘I’m outta here.’

He had the marriage annulled First thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding Immediately after finding out About the affair, this Guy goes through with the Charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge–making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the Bride’s’ and best man’s reputations In front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of Church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard ‘priceless’ Commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception For 300 family members and Friends: $32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week Honeymoon accommodations In Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone’s face When they see the 8×10 glossy Of the bride humping the best Man: Priceless.

There are some things money Can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD.

~~~

My comments: The Bible says something to the effect of not carrying out vengeance, and to let God handle it. I agree with that. But IF YOU DO decide to carry it out, I guess I’m saying…

TAKE NOTES FROM THIS MAN. BOSS status revenge, right here. There’s NO recovery from this. This is the MOST EMBARRASSING thing that can happen to a bride at a wedding. Reputation is gone.

But then…I don’t feel bad for her because she shouldn’t of been doing that behind the back of someone who loved her. That’s called setting yourself up for failure. Seriously.

Movie reviews coming soon. What’s your comments on this?

King Eljay

One of the first hip-hop duos I ever officially became a fan of was Method Man and Redman. Their lyricism, their flows, and (maybe even more importantly) their characters seemed made for hip-hop as far as injecting life and energy into it. Characters that can actually win fans over BEFORE they start rapping? That’s what they brought at the time, and to be completely honest, they were the first people to actually GET me to listen and dive into hip-hop, and of course one of the first hip-hop CDs I ever bought was “BlackOut.”

So imagine my surprise when I hear their new single (“A-Yo”) and I get “BlackOut! 2”, also dropping on the monumental hip-hop date of 5/19/09 alongside Eminem and Busta Rhymes. Darn right I’m excited…. But is the album actually worth supporting in the store?

The Good: To answer the question I just posed, YES. I can’t say it more clearly than that. The lyricism is still here, the originality to their roots and their hobbies are still here, the album flows well together, and the production has a little bit of a throwback feel to it, but in a great way. I can’t say if it’s BETTER or WORSE than the original, but “BlackOut! 2” is definitely another addition of great music from these two. It makes you wonder what took them so long to do another album… There’s no super-powered knockout song like “Da Rockwilder” or “Y.O.U.”, but there are songs on here that are just so well-done and catchy you might find yourself keeping a song on repeat before you even listen to the album once.

For the record…That happened three times with me (“A-Yo”, “Hey Zulu”, and “Diz Iz 4 All My Smokers.”)

The Bad: I alluded to it a little earlier, but sometimes this seems like a Redman album, because it seems he’s the predominant voice on the CD, and the interludes from his album carries over in continuation to BlackOut 2. The W-KYA (“W-Kickin’ Yo A**”) Radio drops were present on “Red Gone Wild” and the “4 Minutes To Lockdown” interlude just seemed like a waste of time to me. Also, a couple of the songs seem a little half written (“I Know Sumptn”) and both falter on their bars at times on different songs. But that’s my personal opinion though.

The “Character” Effect: There are lines on this album that just made me straight laugh out loud. Their personalities come out perfectly through their music, which is something you don’t get with the new school rappers that are out. That being said, the Redman “I’m like Jay, tryna drop me a Mil (AMIL)” line in “Hey Zulu” almost made me wreck when I heard it. Hopefully you know that Jay and Amil were part of Roc-A-Fella Records, and Amil flopped, so she was dropped… Heard she worked at a Target now… But that’s not important…

Bottom Line: It’s another worthy addition to the Meth/Red Chronicles. If you’ve been following like I have, this is the album you’ve wanted them to drop since the original BlackOut. This warrants way more of a purchase than the Busta Rhymes CD, so don’t skip this one just because you may or may not have heard anything off of it. BlackOut 2 delivers quality hip-hop music in a way that no other CD coming out that day can. The CD is just so refreshing, in short.

I just hope on the week of the 19^th, fans can Relapse and BlackOut…

And yes, that’s subliminal for “Support Eminem and Meth/Redman”. Just in case you didn’t catch it.

Final Rating: —–> 4.5 / 5 <—–

___

The Notable Tracks…

• “Hey Zulu” <—- Editor’s Favorite (lol)
  
• “A-Yo” feat. Saukrates
  
• “City Lights” feat. UGK
  
• “Diz Iz 4 All My Smokers“

Busta Rhymes has called himself the “god” of rap flows for the longest, and when it comes to cameos and relevancy, there’s really not much ammunition you can use to argue against that fact. He can basically get on any style of track with any person and outshine them. That’s putting it lightly, considering that Busta usually DESTROYS tracks he jumps on and brings more energy to the track than the original artist… But that’s aside from the point. 5/19/09 is a big day for hip-hop, so for Busta to even stand a chance against Eminem as far as SALES and QUALITY music, there has to be good music on this cd. Of course we know the CD’s going to have hits on there…

But is it enough?

The Good: Busta’s high energy flow is back in abundance, for better or for worse. The intro song lets you know Busta still has his comedic side intact, and Busta’s lyrics have never been questionable as far as lyrical content. As far as his flow, he demonstrates his ability to get on a track and become creative (“Wheel Of Fortune”, “Kill Dem”), and then go back to his street flow (“Hustler’s Anthem”, “We Miss You”) and then slow it down to relate to the ladies (“Sugar”). Busta proves he can do it all on this album – again – and even goes further by going in on a techno-ish song with Estelle (“World Go Round”) that’s sure to please fans of the crossover radio hit.

The Bad: The same thing that’s impressive about the album is the same thing that kind of disappoints me. The album has no type of flow to it whatsoever to it. It’s like Busta picked a bunch of songs he liked and put it on the album, and said “Here you go. Woo-hah!” Some songs are good, and some…not so much. Even the songs that are ok, seem like it’s missing something, whether it’s a better hook (“Give Em What They Asking For”), or it’s just an awkwardly composed song (“We Want In”), unfortunately most of the album is just underwhelming at its best.

Not to mention, Busta co-signed freakin RON BROWNZ. I know he produced “Ether” for Nas, but if you want the T-Pain effect, at least get T-Pain, and not him. He can’t even use it right.

The “Wait, That’s Not On Here?!”: My biggest complaint is that arguably the hottest record that Busta released in the last year isn’t even on the album. The track “Blown” is now a ZShare downloadable, thanks to Busta not including it on the CD (maybe it’s a bonus track… I can only be hopeful). To be completely honest, it’s the only song that got me excited about the album. By the way, neither are the “Arab Money” Remixes…yet the disc is only 14 tracks. You would think he’d at least throw on a couple of remixes and/or long lost singles that are also NOT on the album (“We Made It”, “Throw The Water On Em”).

(Note: I’m completely aware that Busta went through label changes, but they let him walk with the whole album. He could put it out if he wanted to, and he chose not to. Not cool.)

Bottom Line: The CD has its high moments, including a monumental song featuring Common, Jamie Foxx, Mary J. Blige and John Legend (“Decision”), but for the most part, it’s just like most Busta CD’s. It has its moments, but there’s nothing here that’s going to stand up against the high quality releases coming out before, during, and after its release date.

I guess the only ammunition a hater could use is the same bullets they use when critiquing Jadakiss: “Yeah, he makes other CD’s hot, but why can’t he make his own classic CD?”

I’ve yet to figure that out.

Final Rating: —–> 3.4 / 5 <—–

___

The Notable Tracks:

• “Hustler’s Anthem” (feat. T-Pain)
• “Don’t Believe ‘Em” (feat. Akon and T.I.)
• “Decision” (feat. Jamie Foxx, Mary J. Blige, Common, and John Legend) *STANDOUT TRACK*
• “Sugar” (feat. Jelly Roll) *Warning: Adults Only*
• “Respect My Conglomerate” (feat. Lil Wayne and Jadakiss)

The preview… these happen between episodes. Makes sense right? Theresa wanted me to call this the in-betweener… I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Sorry, lol. Enjoy. Episode 2 coming soon.

And of course…

If you haven’t read the Introduction, OR Episode One, they’re listed below for you clicking pleasure.

The Introduction – Last Words

Episode 1: Unpredictable

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Preview (Before Episode Two)

Kale watched as the others glided in and out of the school, frolicking around as if it was a playground. In a sense, it was for them. The kids there weren’t protected. They weren’t properly warned about the things that he could do… The things that his demons can inflict on people… Read more…

Unfortunately for Eminem, his album leaked TWO WEEKS before its street date on 5/19/09. For a lot of artists, that would spell certain doom, but for most hip-hop heads it only validated something that we all suspected:

Fortunately for us, Eminem still has it.

“It”, of course, being the crazed, psychopathic, alter-ego persona that is missing from hip-hop. Usually there’s either “character” or “skills” when it comes to a rap artist. Usually there’s never both, but in this case there is. No one can do it quite like Eminem. It’s been that way for a long time, but is it enough to actually please fans enough to make them go and BUY the album on the 19^th?

The GOOD: If you’re looking for a complete Relapse of Eminem into his old “Marshall Mathers LP” self, you’ll get that on a couple of tracks. But let’s be clear that this is more of all of Eminem’s flows mixed together to make this album flow almost PERFECTLY. From him going full serial killer (“3 AM”) to a childhood memory with his mother (“My Mom”) to…wait, incest??? (“Insane”) There is no doubt that Eminem is back with a vengeance.

The songs flow together perfectly and shows how he’s slowly slipping back into drugs and just when you think the album’s going to be predictable, it crashes and goes into an introspective Eminem as he analyzes his own life and reveals more about himself (“Déjà vu” and “Beautiful”). In short, the album is completely original, and gives you a sense of nostalgia that hasn’t been experienced in a VERY LONG time. If you’ve been with Eminem for the whole ride, you’ll love this album, and a couple of the interludes will make you laugh out loud.

The BAD: The only REAL problem with this CD is that Eminem changes his voice depending on the mood of the song. He carries an accent on certain songs (“Same Song & Dance”, “3 AM”) that might annoy some people, but if you can actually realize he’s in character and listen to the lyrics, you’d realize that he’s still a lyrical genius in every sense of the verb. And of course…”Insane” is maybe the most “OH MY GOD” song Eminem’s ever had… If you don’t like mental images, SKIP THIS SONG. Trust me.

The “Most Famous Eminem Intro Line EVER”: I was lying in my bed listening to the CD a week back and suddenly I heard…

“A lot of people ask me…”

And I SAT STRAIGHT UP. I was thinking to myself there’s no way he’s about to have complete “Marshall Mathers LP, BLACK OUT” moment, was he?

The short, sweet answer: YES. No accent. No introspective. No remorse. Eminem goes ALL IN on the outro track “Underground” with comical and vicious punch lines that will leave you smiling and wishing that it didn’t take him four years to release another album.

Bottom Line: Eminem’s back. If you enjoy Eminem on ANY type of level, there’s something on this album for you. If you’re an Eminem “Stan”, then you might go drive off a bridge in celebration of how good this album is. Ok, hopefully not, but you get the idea. It’s quality music.

Final Rating: 4.5/5

___

The Notable Tracks:

• “Deja Vu” *Introspective Song, LISTEN*
• “Underground” *Vintage “Marshall Mathers LP” Eminem*
• “Same Song & Dance”
  
• “3 AM”

So I’ve decided to shorten the format of my movie/music reviews. For clarity’s sake. I will still do in-depth reviews for some things, but for the most part, I’m going to go with the small format, which will be debuted in a day or so.

I got reviews for “Next Day Air”, “Star Trek” and a few music cds as well soon.

And of course…”The Guardian” will return full force in a few days.

It’s going to be fun…

King Eljay

I’m going to start something. I’m going to start posting random, funny videos and linking them here. Not many, but maybe one or two _____ videos that caught my interest for whatever reason.

No, no random “booty-shaking” videos or anything like that. Just the video, and my reaction/thoughts.

“Same Song and Dance? No…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm9Ie87wjcM

Reaction:

I thought it was a normal video. I honestly did. I got to about the minute and a half mark and thought that there was nothing special about this video until I heard the camera “WHIIIRRRR” and suddenly came the interpretative dancer at the 2 minute mark.

Oh. My. Goodness… Not hating on interprative dancing at ALL. I love it actually. It’s cool, and when done right, it’s just as uplifting as praise and worship in church (oh, there’s a comment that might make people frown), but…she flapped to the ground, and then jumped off the pulpit/preacher thing, and… I have no more to say about this. This should be viral video status.  Serious. I was dumbfounded.

“More Proof That Hip-Hop Could Be Dying…”

Elderly rap choir. This is actually a real, legitimate video. Seriously, stop laughing. Painfully funny to watch. I can’t imagine who thought this was a great idea… That being said… When Nelly came on (4:07), I was thinking in the back of my head that there was no way they were actually going to follow the details of the song…

Good thing I didn’t put money on it.

There’s your topic starters for the day.

Later

King Eljay

King Eljay – Yeah, I can sense that part two is needed arguably as much as Rihanna and Cassie needs CLOTHES in their online leaked pictures…

More RULES. …. Check the first 10 HERE.

Let’s pick up where we left off…

11) Break Rule 10…???

Submitted by Rhymestyle: Follow Friday was fun at first, but now that its much more popular and a ton of people are doing it, then it is somewhat annoying to be hit with 500-1000 names to follow.  You can do what I do and limit your follow fridays to 5 people each week. When it comes to me, I post the top 5 interesting profiles of the week each friday, that way when people see 5 names, it is much easier and simpler to just go through those 5 accounts and derive a decision of whether or not to follow them.

If you decide to violate Rule 10 directly, this is the best way to do it. That being said… I don’t do Follow Fridays. Yet. I’m over 100…it’ll be a big deal when I do it. But don’t expect me to because I still think they’re lamer than Superman when he was still here.

Oh so Eminem can diss Reeves, but I can’t?

I’m joking… Let me move on…

12) Begging…Is For Beggars

Don’t beg for people to follow you. The most you should do is send one message…at the VERY MOST. If you’re not interesting…you won’t be followed. It’s pretty much that simple. Just do you, interact/network with other people, and eventually you’ll get followers. Trust me on this one. Or…you could leak a sex-tape online. That seems to get followers up fast nowadays… perverts…

13) T-Words…

Ok, this is getting out of hand. Yes, Twitter is cool. Tweeting is cool too. But remixing words and putting “Tw” in front of it gets old FAST.

• “What’s up my Twiggaz?”
• “What’s up tweeps?”
• “Oh, you twiggin out?”
• “She follows everybody, she’s a Twore…”
• “I’m eating a Twix!” (ok, the last one’s a candy bar, but still)

…You see what I mean? Be original. Remixing words is cool, but do it in good taste. Unless you’re trying to be corny. Then by all means, tweet/twig away.

14) Tweet Responsibly

Remember, what happens on Twitter…Stays on the internet. And hits the websites. And can cost you your job. Every statement has a consequence…Every tweet can have a repercussion. Be aware of this…Twitter is an ONLINE community, so the same rules still apply. If you call off sick from your job, don’t tweet this:

“I called off sick, but I’m really about to hit the club, FTW!!!! ROTFLMMFAO!!!!”

Not smart. Even if you protect your updates, it’s still not smart. Also, never give out personal info (telephone number, etc) over tweets. Word to 9th Wonder and Jean Grae. You have to tweet responsibly.

For the record, this is by no means saying you shouldn’t Tweet when you’re drunk. I don’t drink, smoke, or do any of that, but I thoroughly enjoy drunk tweets. There’s something about an unrestrained person with a mobile device in their hand commenting on EVERY SINGLE thing they see that makes me laugh…

15) Let’s Keep It 100…

Be real. Be yourself. Don’t be someone else. Fake celebrity accounts are not cool. As a matter of fact, it’s lame. Why would you want to be someone else anyway? Be yourself. Let the celebs handle their namesakes. You don’t get paid to deal with what they deal with. If you did…you PROBABLY wouldn’t be reading this right now. You’d be too busy trying to find out who leaked your naked pictures online.

That’s word to Rihanna. I would say Cassie too…but she probably leaked hers on purpose. She seems like the type… moving on.

16) Don’t Waste Our/Your Time

If you only update your status when you’re “About to eat” or “About to sleep” or “about to take a shower”, then you should just be prepared to lose a bunch of followers unless you’re a super celeb. Like Drake. We don’t want to know all of that unless you’re interesting with it. Just be yourself…but if you’re not that interesting, then maybe you should re-evaluate why you’re on Twitter. No diss…it’s just something to honestly think about.

17) The Essence Of Interaction

If someone you don’t know Tweets you, don’t do what I did the first time:

“Um…I don’t know them…So I won’t answer…”

Interact with people. Respond to people. Get to know people. As you do that, sometimes your responses can be more interesting than your original 140-character statement that sparked it. You get a lot of followers by being accessible, and that’s really how Twitter was meant to be used.

I think…

18 ) Don’t Be Stereotypical…

If you’re a guy, don’t only answer to girls. If you’re a lady, don’t only respond to men. If you’re a celeb, don’t only respond to other celebs. If you’re Emo, don’t only respond to other Emos.

Just saying.

People pick up on that easily, and it’s not cool if someone’s been trying to get at you, and you’re too busy being a lame.

19) Enjoy Yourself!

It’s fun. Just relax, put yourself out there (not all the way like Tyrese, but a little bit), let people get to know you, and make sure you don’t say/do anything stupid that can come back to haunt you.

20) UnFollow…

Yup. I have a list of people you SHOULDN’T Follow.

1. DIDDY – He’s super positive, which is cool. Never thought I’d say this, but he might be a little too positive for me…
2. Gabrielle Union (@gabrielle_union) – it’s a fake account. I hinted at this in the first post, but home girl needs a life… Fake accounts are not cool…

Be a proton, everybody. Feel free to hit me with more rules…

Later.

5/19/09.

As of this current moment, this is the most important date for hip-hop this year.

Keep in mind I’m being as unbiased as possible here.

Ever since Nas all but shoved the saying “Hip-Hop Is Dead” into the culture, people have been saying it. For the last few years, as I REALLY submerge myself into hip-hop, I hear the same excuses:

• Hip-hop is dead.
• Hip hop has peaked, and it’ll never be where it was years ago.
• The internet is killing hip-hop sales.
• File-sharing online is destroying record companies.
• You need a dance to get famous.
• There’s no such thing as longevity in the rap game.
• No one’s original with their music anymore.

I could keep going, but it slightly depresses me to see how everyone’s piggy-backing off of what other ignorant people say and use it as if it’s their original idea, as if they did their own research and actually LOOKED for good music instead of just cutting on the radio and the TV (because we all know hip-hop isn’t really on the radio anymore. There are exceptions, but its few and far between). And even if they DID hear hip-hop on the radio, it’s not like fans nowadays are going to go out to the store and buy it. They’ll just hop on the computer, type in a name and password, and download it for free.

Yay for Zshare, right?

So even when a legitimate hip-hop artist comes out, everyone’s like “Yeah, this is good music” but no one buys the album. They all download it, so the album flops to a Rick Ross, and the music company’s now thinking that hip-hop ISN’T what people want, so then it makes it harder for the next hip-hop artist to actually make it. And then people make more excuses…

• He’s not talking about stuff I relate to.
• He’s a suburban white boy. I can’t bump Asher in the vehicle.
• And my favorite… “He sounds like Eminem. Eminem needs to come back and show him how it’s done.”

Oh really? Ironically..guess what drops on the 19th? Not one, but TWO hip-hop albums. Busta Rhymes, “B.O.M.B. (Back On My BS)” and Eminem’s “Relapse.” But there’s more of an underlying story here than you think. It’s a reason why this is so important, so let’s put it into two different perspectives:

The Hip Hop Perspective:

As a fan, it’s been four years since Slim Shady’s stepped out of the limelight. Although Encore had it’s highlights, it still wasn’t the Eminem people wanted. He was more mature, more introspective (for the most part), and seemed to be bent on having more fun than proving himself. Although this is still the case, he has more to prove since going through the death of his friend and the pneumonia drug relapse he had in December.The psychopathic wordplay is back and is in full force, the Slim Shady character is in full effect… I really don’t think it could’ve been done any better.

As far as the Busta Rhymes album, Busta’s been one of the longest running rappers (that’s still relevant) in the game, period. Why he isn’t top 5 on most people’s list confuses me. His album was actually one of them that was shelved because of Eminem’s problems. Busta has never dropped a garbage album (not mentioning “Anarchy.” We don’t mention that album), so it only makes sense to support good music. The 19th literally has TWO hip-hop titans dropping heavily anticipated albums.

Why would you NOT be at the record store?

The Business Perspective:

It’s no secret that record sales have been faltering lately. Whether it’s because of the internet, lack of promotion, lack of fan support, or because of the lack of good music, the hip-hop industry is in a recession in terms of promotion and sales. Props to Busta Rhymes for his longevity, but every other artist alive PALES in comparision to how many records Eminem has sold. He is, single-handedly, the highest selling rap artist of ALL TIME.

So who better to save the music recession than him? It’s very possible that if Eminem doesn’t do NUMBERS his first week, there’s going to be some huge fallouts. If the highest selling artist of all time can’t sell records… What exactly do you think is going to happen?

The bottom line is that there’s no reason for you to not be in a record store on 5/19/09. I mean, there’s even a highly anticipated Christian Hip-Hop album coming out from Tedashii titled “Identity Crisis”, so even if you don’t do that type of hip-hop music, you have an alternative. {note: this album was pushed back to the 26th for some reason}

So here’s my plea. For everyone who already have heard/downloaded these albums, if you like the music…go and support the artists. The only way we can get good music is to support the goodness we already have.

Why not start now?

Eminem – Relapse – 5//19//09

Busta Rhymes – B.O.M.B. – 5//19//09

Tedashii – Identity Crisis - 5//19//09 5//26//09

Later.

King Eljay

King Eljay - Welcome to Twitter. It’s a beautiful place where you can share your thoughts, information, and other random golden nuggets of goodness 140 characters at a time.

It’s a new world out there, so of course you’re going to need a little guidance. I, being a twitter expect now with over 1200 twits under my belt, and being the nice guy that I am, have decided to help you. Feel free to reference this guide as a couple of rules to make sure you follow as you tweet. These are some, but not all, of the things you should keep in mind as you begin your journey.

1) Everything’s Not Ok

You don’t have to tweet EVERY SINGLE THING you’re doing. Some, sure. Most…maybe. ALL? No. You can tweet that you’re visiting a friend. You can even tweet that you’re visiting a friend that lives in Phoenix City. You DO NOT need to tweet that you’re TAKING A DUMP at that friend’s said house on said toilet.

2) One Bird, One Stone

Don’t respond to 3 different people with three different statements in one tweet. That’s lame, and because it’s only 140 characters, it makes you look like you have an Ebonics Major. And if you DO have an Ebonics major…I wouldn’t necessarily advertise that. Killing two birds with one stone does not apply here.

3) Be Careful What You Twit

This is the internet. Everything you say CAN and WILL haunt you possibly for the rest of your life. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but it can most definitely affect you now. If you’re at work, and you send a Twit about the person in front of you being an idiot…and it gets back to the person…and that person’s your boss… OR, if you’re an up-and-coming white rapper and you say the term “Nappy Headed Hoes” in poor taste while you’re visiting the Rutger’ campus… Expect for it to get you blown. Word to Busta, T-Pain, and Asher Roth.

4) Pick Your Angle

If you’re using it to become famous (ish) or to promote your work, don’t use your real name. If you’re there to just meet people, then by all means, use your FIRST name. It’s just not a good idea to put your full name on a Twitter account until you get used to it. That way, you can cover your mistakes if you violate any of the rules mentioned above. Clever right?

I know.

5) Running Journal?

Some people pull a DJDaddyMack, which is basically update Twitter constantly for about an hour maybe every 20 seconds on the minute. Which is completely fine…if you have an audience, and if you don’t do it constantly. If you do this all the time, it will honestly get to the point where people lose interest in you because you moan and complain all the time. Makes sense, right? I’ll put it this way… Running journals are a bad idea (usually)… Get you a following first, and then try it and see if it’s for you. But unless you’re him…it probably won’t work.

Not hating…I just don’t see how he can rant like that and not lose followers. That’s loyalty ladies and gentlemen. And yes, I’m still following him. He’s a cool dude.

6) Stagnant?

You’ll lose a lot of random followers you might pick up if you don’t update sometimes. If you only send out one message a week, you’ll lose them fast. And if they’re ONE WORD TWEETS like

….Tired….

…Come…ON…!!! If you’re that tired, don’t waste my time saying it unless you’re going to say WHY. If not, you could’ve kept that to yourself.

140 Characters. Try to use them.

And make sure you at least update it with some kind of consistency. It helps to be mobile with your tweets… It’s definitely an added bonus….As a matter of fact:

7) It’s Called “Mobility!”

Yeah, if the computer/desktop is all you have to twit, then by all means use it. But if you have internet on your phone, or if you have a smart phone, or if you have unlimited text messaging, you are missing out on the true essence of Twitter if you’re not capitalizing off of those advantages. It makes the much easier to manage/conquer. Besides, you have no idea how funny and stupid your day can be until you get a random tweet from a person you’re following that makes your day.  (@ThaQuintessence and @CaliLive excel in this) Be mobile! It’s dope.

Lead, and Follow…But Lead More

It’s cool to follow a bunch of people, but if you’re following more people than you lead, some people might consider you a “Twitter-Ho” and it’ll scare off some potential followers. Trust me on this one… follow the people that interest you. Don’t follow the whole cast of High School Musical. If they’re interesting…Follow and interact. Every person I follow, I’ve heard a response from. Joe Budden, Joe Budden’s girlfriend (Tahiry…whoooo…), Charles Hamilton, etc. I’m followin Gabrielle Union right now, but she’s a little crazy…so I might drop her..haha…It’s cool to follow, but it’s better to lead…get it?

9) Spread The Good Ones!

If you follow someone that’s thoroughly entertaining, help them get more followers! ReTweet their funniest statements (people do this for me a lot…thanks), or just do a Follow Friday and shout out your peoples (like @RhymeStyle). The latter requires an audience though… but… I have one more…

10) Don’t Do FOLLOW FRIDAYS…

It’s simple. If you have under 100 followers, don’t do “Follow Fridays.” There’s no point. Get your audience up. Just ReTweet the funny/cool ones and maybe even do the occasional shoutout, but keep it simple. Follow Fridays are for the most part….kind of lame. Sorry.

These are 10 simple rules to help you achieve success in the Twitter world. May your stay here be longer than it was with MySpace…

King Eljay