“The Guardian” (The Introduction – Last Words)
I’ve always loved writing. This has been one of my favorite things to do. Recently, I’ve been going through some things and I’ve honestly learned a lot from my experiences. I wanted a way I could relate some of those things that I’ve learned without preaching, without writing super long notes like I’m inclined to do, and without sacrificing on any of the principles of my writings: speak truthfully, entertain, and (more recently) speak in love.
The last part doesn’t apply to hip-hop writings. Clearing that up, lol.
Anyway, I got hit with this idea today, and you guys can tell me if you like it or not. It’s a Christian short story series I’m going to start up called “The Guardian.” The main event is loosely themed around one tragic experience in my life, but I flipped it into something else. I honestly hope you get something out of the introduction/set-up to the story.
Episode One will be up soon. Enjoy the intro. Leave comments.
King Eljay
~~~~~~~~~
The Guardian
The Introduction – “Last Words”
What a way to kick off Sunday…
Nolan sat on the edge of the bed, thinking to himself. Well, he was trying to think. He couldn’t keep track of all of his thoughts.
No one would even notice if I was gone.
I can’t do this. It’s not right.
It’s the only option right now.
Make them out to be liars. You know they would miss you.
There’s no way that things can get better from here-
It can get better. It will get better. I have to just wait it out-
I’ve been waiting for too long! Nothing’s changed! Nothing will change!
Everything will change eventually. Faith-
Faith is blind…no one can even prove that God even exists! And if He does, then why is He letting me go through this?
Without a test, there is no testimony-
Screw all of that-
Your family would miss you-
Screw my family.
You’d be wasting your life-
I’m wasting it now! I’d rather be somewhere else than here…
Nolan opened his eyes and fiddled with the .44 in his hand as the thoughts continued to race through his head. He looked up and glared at himself in the bedroom mirror as the war within his mind intensified.
It’s not suicide, it’s an escape-
It’s a copout. You don’t trust God enough to help you through your problems-
I don’t trust ANYONE to help me with ANYTHING. They’ve all let me down-
God is different. You should know that by now-
He hasn’t shown up for me! Too busy with all of the fake hypocrites in the world right now?
All people that claim to be Christians aren’t Christians. That’s something else you should know-
Shut up…
You know what’s right and what’s wrong. You know this is depression-
Shut up.
You know that you’re not thinking clearly. You know that you have a calling on your life-
SHUT UP.
You know that God has a plan for you-
SHUT UP!
YOU CAN’T DO THIS-
“SHUT UP!!!!!!!” Nolan screamed, and in one quick motion, cocked the hammer, put the gun a couple of inches away from his chin and fired. The blast echoed through the room as he saw the flash in the mirror…
His vision blacked out before the bullet even entered his body. He was gone.
~~~
Nolan suddenly opened his eyes and looked around him. What the crap…
All he saw around him was darkness. He couldn’t see his hand in front of his face…
Wait, I can move? The realization suddenly hit him that he was standing…moving…
I thought-
“What you think, and what is real can sometimes be two different things,” a voice boomed from behind him.
Nolan jumped and turned around at the voice. “Aye…. Who’s that??” he called out.
No answer.
“Great…voices in darkness… this was a great idea…” he muttered to himself as he tried to make sense of what’s going on.
“Your problem? Is that you rely on yourself too much. You can’t understand things that I do with your natural intelligence. No offense…but I’m smarter than you.”
“Yo, whoever that is, quit playing! Show yourself man!” Nolan slowly began to panic, but only in his mind. It hadn’t begun to show physically.
“I can’t show you Myself. You’d die. Wait…actually…” The voice sounded like it was thinking about the statement it just said. “You’re already dead. I guess I could show you right?”
Suddenly a light shone out of the darkness a good distance away. He stared, transfixed at the light, and glad for the ability to see his limbs again.
“Take the stairs, Nolan.”
He frowned as he walked towards the light. As he closer, he noticed it was illuminated stairs that lit up the darkness. “So…” Nolan started to comment as he ascended the stairs, “I don’t see a top level.”
“Keep walking,” the voice said.
“You don’t have handrails for these? Handicapped people would have a fit…”
The voice chuckled. “Well, they’re already dead by now. Falling off the stairs wouldn’t hurt them more.”
He wasn’t sure if the joke was meant to be funny or serious. “Um…Where am I?”
“You’re with me,” the voice answered matter-of-factly.
“Am I really dead?”
“Technically…” There was a pause. “Yes. Mission accomplished for you?”
Nolan came to a slow stop on the stairs. “I don’t know…”
“I never told you to stop moving.”
“I’m going to Hell, aren’t I?” Nolan said suddenly with a sad realization. “I committed suicide… That’s like a sin right? And I sinned right before I died! I ignored your warnings… You’re about to judge me…”
The voice laughed again. “Overthinking, are we?”
“No, no I’m not… I know the answer to this.”
“Keep moving.”
“I’m going to be eternally damned. Damn.”
The voice laughed. “Well… that’s the gist of it. Eternal torment and fire. Fun times. Burrrrn. Ready for it-“
“NO!!!” Nolan suddenly began leaping the stairs in an futile attempt to get as far away from the bottom of the stairs as possible. Anything to get further away from… THERE. The more he ran, the more he realized he wasn’t going anywhere.
There’s not a top to this thing?!
“No, no,” he muttered as he slowed down,” That’s not what I wanted… This isn’t what I wanted-“
“And you dying isn’t what I desire either.”
In the distance he saw a man sitting on the stairs waiting for him. The man stood as Nolan got near him…He was wearing baggy jeans and a New Era fitted hat, and a super long white tee shirt.
Nolan didn’t make eye contact as he tried to get by. “Excuse me, homie-“
“I thought you wanted Me to show Myself?” the Man said, smiling.
Nolan froze. “Wait…what? You’re not the Voice I was hearing.”
“Nah…” He sat down, slumped on the stairs. “I’m His Son.”
“…Jesus…”
“Was that in vain?”
“No. I don’t think it was…I didn’t mean for it to be. I’m sorry, I’m just shocked you chose to….you know…”
“ I can be whoever I want to be.” He yawned for a moment and continued, “You’d be too scared if you saw Dad in His natural form. We’re not going for the ‘instill fear’ option. I’d rather instill change. As corny as that sounds. Dad told me to say it.”
“Duly noted…” Nolan couldn’t get the shock off his face. “Yeah, ok, but…you look…”
“Like a normal dude. I used to be one, remember? I wasn’t a big fan of the Jesus sandals though. I kind of despise that label. It’s a few things in the world I despise…” Jesus slowly looked off as if He was disgusted with the thought. He re-focused on me after the moment left. “But that’s not important right now. Let’s talk.”
Nolan looked at Jesus and nodded. “Sure…I mean…anything to stave off the impending doom.”
Jesus laughed. “Look at you…using big words…”
Nolan smiled. Sense of humor is still working I guess.
Jesus nodded. “Yes, I only get funnier over time.”
Nolan’s face showed his confusion, but realization hit him just as quick as the confusion had. “You’re God…You can read my mind.”
Jesus nodded again, somewhat impressed. “And you are two for two today! Well…crossing out that suicide fiasco a minute ago.”
“Yeah…about that…That’s not how I want to end it.”
“We know.” He stood up and pulled out an iPhone. “Gabriel keeps texting me…”
Nolan opened his mouth to comment, but Jesus beat him to it. “Dude. Who do you think inspired the inventor of this thing?”
Nolan closed his mouth. This was a little more eye opening than he was expecting. “O…kay.”
“Yo, He’s always calling on me. I don’t mind though. Ah…speaking of calling.” Jesus slid the phone back into his pocket. “YOUR calling is to something greater now. Tell me… have you ever seen ‘Touched By An Angel’?”
“What, you mean the show with the old ladies being angels and stuff?”
“Yes! Yes! You have?”
“Nope. I hate the Hallmark channel. But You knew that.”
Jesus abruptly stood up and pointed up the stairs. “SEE!?!? I told you, there’s nothing positive on Hallmark!” He glanced back at Nolan and stated, “My Dad seems to think that Hallmark is a good channel.”
“Wow… I really don’t know how to answer to that. He’s God though. Not to focus on me burning or anything… but is that a requirement in Hell? To watch that? Constantly? ”
“Well…You’re not exactly going to find out.”
Jesus began to walk up the stairs as he talked, so Nolan followed. “See… We have enough angels, but for the sake of proving something to you, We’ve been talking-“
“We?”
“Holy Trinity.” He held up three fingers. “Dad, me, and the Holy Spirit. Can I finish?”
“Sorry…proceed…” Nolan felt small compared to Him.
“Hold your head up. The groveling thing is ok sometimes, but there’s such a thing as knowing who you are in God. Head high. Ok?”
“I have got to get used to you commenting on my thoughts, man!”
Jesus laughed. “Right on. So, We think that your biggest problem is your viewpoints. You don’t see things the way WE see them. You see it the way YOU want to see it, which is why you make decisions the way you do. As you can tell…your decisions suck. No offense.”
“None taken…Kind of figured that out a minute ago.”
“On the same page. Awesome. So we’re going to give you a chance to see things the way We see it. So…you have an assignment.”
Nolan paused…again. “What? An assignment? Like school?”
“No. Well. Yes. Maybe. You can interpret it to be whatever you want it to be. You’re working for us now. We need you to watch over someone on Earth. Make sure nothing happens to them… Ok?”
Nolan’s facial expression erupted into a smile. “I’m a Guardian Angel?? Dude, do I get wings?”
“No.” Jesus’ face waxed cold.
“Aw. Lame.”
“You’re calling my ideas lame? This offends the Spirit of God!!” Jesus raised His hand as a loud cracking noise erupted from the sky.
“NO NO NO!!!” Nolan yelled as he covered his head and ducked.
Jesus suddenly doubled over in laughter. “You should’ve saw your face! You bought it! Come on man… You gotta be able to take a joke.”
“Celestial jokes are way more intense than mama jokes…”
Jesus stroked His chin. “Hmm. You make a valid point. Maybe you weren’t ready for it. We’ll try again later. Anyway, you can have wings, whatever floats your boat. The kid’s name is Juan.”
Nolan nodded.
“So…You’re in?”
“It’s either that or Hell.”
“See, now you’re seeing things clearly. Let’s keep it that way.”
Jesus began to walk away from Nolan. “One thing though. I probably should mention this.”
“Yeah?” Nolan asked.
“He can see you.”
“What? I thought guardian angels are supposed to be invisible…”
Jesus laughed again. He was enjoying this too much. “I know right? Only he can though. No one else can see you. Everything else…ah, you’ll get it. Just go with the flow, yo.”
“Where are you going?”
“NBA Playoffs are on. I missed the 1st Quarter. I have TiVo though, so I can rewind it. You don’t have to feel bad.” His voice grew more and more distant until He finally faded into the light of the stairs in the horizon.
Nolan suddenly remembered something he said earlier. “Lord! Sorry for cursing!!! “
“All people fall short of My Glory! Remember that. Romans 3:23.”
“Deuces!”
