Watchmen (Movie Review)

.....the guy falling? Oh, he'll be fine...........

There are those movies that take you for rides. There are movies that are amazing. And then there are movie experiences that don’t even fit into a normal stereotypical category. The best way to describe these movies…are as “movie experiences”, meaning that if you saw it on DVD, it probably would lose a bunch of the effect that was originally intended. However, that’s not necessarily a good thing. There are such things as BAD movie experiences. The question is, what category does Watchmen fall into?

Even more of a question for me is where exactly do I start?

The experience of this movie in theaters is amazing. Whether you liked it or not, the effects and the presentation for the movie was something that most people can agree either made you gravitate towards it, or run away from it. For me, I loved the way the effects and the narration took place. As far as PURE MOVIE EXPERIENCE, I haven’t had one like this since “Dark Knight.” The movie has several plot twists to the point where it almost could’ve been two separate movies, and it’s a literal emotional rollercoaster sitting through this movie all the way until the end. It’s a lot to even absorb the first time through, but the movie is three hours. That’s to be expected, I think.

It holds true to most of the graphic novels from what I’ve heard and seen (including the full man-suit of Dr. Manhattan…pause…), with the exception that it seems that every hero in the movie has superpowers somehow, and the only person that had powers in the novel was Dr. Manhattan. Besides that, it seemed to be pretty much on top of things. That being said, this movie is rated R for a reason. This movie contains every single element of an R-Rated movie, to the point that if they would’ve shown one extra body part, I’m almost positive that it would’ve been NC-17.

Another thing I liked about the movie was that these heroes were normal adults…in every good and bad sense of the word. These adults had problems, and they were well documented throughout the movie, most notably Silk Spectre’s and Rorschach (Rorschach is AWESOME, by the way). The fight scenes are also exquisitely brutal done pretty well. Except of course the ones that feature the prostitute- I mean, the female hero Silk Spectre.

….who was a whore…

However, this movie was FAR from the PERFECT movie experience. Yes, it’s memorable, but there were some HUGE missteps that kept this movie from being a classic, or even a cult classic at the very least. Although the movie was long, it was not a well-presented movie. Some sex scenes didn’t even belong in the movie, and there were a few inconsistencies in the movie. For example, there’s a scene where Rorschach is looking for a little girl which is shown in gruesome, artistic detail, but there’s a scene maybe 10 minutes later in which a bathroom confrontation is left for the viewer’s imagination to run wild. The bottom line is that the movie wasn’t fine-tuned like movie experiences should be. There were scenes in the movie that didn’t belong, and when you’re aiming for timelessness (which was the standard for this movie), you can’t have that.

If you don’t like anything an R-Rated movie can offer, skip this movie. It has every element in this movie, from nudity, sex, to graphic violence, to disturbing images, to blood, to whatever I might’ve forgotten. In the words of David Chappelle… “Better not bring your kids!!!!” Setting up the background for each character will also tire some people out, because it seemingly happens out of nowhere, but I can honestly say there’s a reason for it. Maybe you’ll figure it out as its happening.

However, the biggest flaw of all in the movie to me is the strength of some characters, and the SHEER LAMENESS of others. Every other character is tolerable (with the stand out characters of Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, and The Comedian) EXCEPT Silk Spectre. She’s a lame, in every sense of the word/verb to me, and every scene in the movie featuring her almost made me upset, because usually she was A) crying, B) having sex, C) having a flashback, or D) getting turned on having a flashback during sex.

…Ok, I made up the last one. Take out the “during sex” part, and it’s accurate.

The bottom line for the movie is that it is definitely a movie EXPERIENCE that if the ratings caption doesn’t turn you away, then you would owe it to yourself to at least experience in a movie theater. It has it’s missteps, but it still is the best movie experience to hit theaters since The Dark Knight. That doesn’t make it a perfect movie, or even on the same level, but it’s still a solid movie at the very least. With the exception of a few things, it could’ve reached the golden standard… but it doesn’t.

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WATCHMEN

The law-enforcement in this movie was similar to that of Tuskegee, Alabama... just saying.

The Good: Solid acting, plus a roller-coaster story plot that remains largely true to its graphic novel roots gives this movie an edge up on it’s competitors. Not to mention the PRESENTATION of the movie makes it a memorable experience in it’s own right. And Rorschach…is the man.

The Bad: No, I’m not gay. There is a thing as TOO MUCH sex and nudity in a movie. Even if it was done tastefully, it would be ok, but in this case, you got a half-hour of porn. If they would’ve cut out some of the unnecessary scenes, and expounded on some more of the scenes that were actually awesome, then this movie could have been AMAZING, and not just AN EXPERIENCE.

The-Why Are You Ruining My Movie Experience?!?: Silk Spectre ruined the movie for me. I explained that above in detail though. If this wasn’t understood enough… I just don’t see the point of showing detail of her having sex on a hero ship after rescuing people from a burining building.

Final Rating: 3.7/5