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Archive for March 21st, 2009

Mar 21

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Watchmen (Movie Review)

.....the guy falling? Oh, he'll be fine...........

.....the guy falling? Oh, he'll be fine...........

There are those movies that take you for rides. There are movies that are amazing. And then there are movie experiences that don’t even fit into a normal stereotypical category. The best way to describe these movies…are as “movie experiences”, meaning that if you saw it on DVD, it probably would lose a bunch of the effect that was originally intended. However, that’s not necessarily a good thing. There are such things as BAD movie experiences. The question is, what category does Watchmen fall into?

Even more of a question for me is where exactly do I start?

The experience of this movie in theaters is amazing. Whether you liked it or not, the effects and the presentation for the movie was something that most people can agree either made you gravitate towards it, or run away from it. For me, I loved the way the effects and the narration took place. As far as PURE MOVIE EXPERIENCE, I haven’t had one like this since “Dark Knight.” The movie has several plot twists to the point where it almost could’ve been two separate movies, and it’s a literal emotional rollercoaster sitting through this movie all the way until the end. It’s a lot to even absorb the first time through, but the movie is three hours. That’s to be expected, I think.

It holds true to most of the graphic novels from what I’ve heard and seen (including the full man-suit of Dr. Manhattan…pause…), with the exception that it seems that every hero in the movie has superpowers somehow, and the only person that had powers in the novel was Dr. Manhattan. Besides that, it seemed to be pretty much on top of things. That being said, this movie is rated R for a reason. This movie contains every single element of an R-Rated movie, to the point that if they would’ve shown one extra body part, I’m almost positive that it would’ve been NC-17.

Another thing I liked about the movie was that these heroes were normal adults…in every good and bad sense of the word. These adults had problems, and they were well documented throughout the movie, most notably Silk Spectre’s and Rorschach (Rorschach is AWESOME, by the way). The fight scenes are also exquisitely brutal done pretty well. Except of course the ones that feature the prostitute- I mean, the female hero Silk Spectre.

….who was a whore…

However, this movie was FAR from the PERFECT movie experience. Yes, it’s memorable, but there were some HUGE missteps that kept this movie from being a classic, or even a cult classic at the very least. Although the movie was long, it was not a well-presented movie. Some sex scenes didn’t even belong in the movie, and there were a few inconsistencies in the movie. For example, there’s a scene where Rorschach is looking for a little girl which is shown in gruesome, artistic detail, but there’s a scene maybe 10 minutes later in which a bathroom confrontation is left for the viewer’s imagination to run wild. The bottom line is that the movie wasn’t fine-tuned like movie experiences should be. There were scenes in the movie that didn’t belong, and when you’re aiming for timelessness (which was the standard for this movie), you can’t have that.

If you don’t like anything an R-Rated movie can offer, skip this movie. It has every element in this movie, from nudity, sex, to graphic violence, to disturbing images, to blood, to whatever I might’ve forgotten. In the words of David Chappelle… “Better not bring your kids!!!!” Setting up the background for each character will also tire some people out, because it seemingly happens out of nowhere, but I can honestly say there’s a reason for it. Maybe you’ll figure it out as its happening.

However, the biggest flaw of all in the movie to me is the strength of some characters, and the SHEER LAMENESS of others. Every other character is tolerable (with the stand out characters of Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan, and The Comedian) EXCEPT Silk Spectre. She’s a lame, in every sense of the word/verb to me, and every scene in the movie featuring her almost made me upset, because usually she was A) crying, B) having sex, C) having a flashback, or D) getting turned on having a flashback during sex.

…Ok, I made up the last one. Take out the “during sex” part, and it’s accurate.

The bottom line for the movie is that it is definitely a movie EXPERIENCE that if the ratings caption doesn’t turn you away, then you would owe it to yourself to at least experience in a movie theater. It has it’s missteps, but it still is the best movie experience to hit theaters since The Dark Knight. That doesn’t make it a perfect movie, or even on the same level, but it’s still a solid movie at the very least. With the exception of a few things, it could’ve reached the golden standard… but it doesn’t.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

WATCHMEN

The law-enforcement in this movie was similar to that of Tuskegee, Alabama... just saying.

The law-enforcement in this movie was similar to that of Tuskegee, Alabama... just saying.

The Good: Solid acting, plus a roller-coaster story plot that remains largely true to its graphic novel roots gives this movie an edge up on it’s competitors. Not to mention the PRESENTATION of the movie makes it a memorable experience in it’s own right. And Rorschach…is the man.

The Bad: No, I’m not gay. There is a thing as TOO MUCH sex and nudity in a movie. Even if it was done tastefully, it would be ok, but in this case, you got a half-hour of porn. If they would’ve cut out some of the unnecessary scenes, and expounded on some more of the scenes that were actually awesome, then this movie could have been AMAZING, and not just AN EXPERIENCE.

The-Why Are You Ruining My Movie Experience?!?: Silk Spectre ruined the movie for me. I explained that above in detail though. If this wasn’t understood enough… I just don’t see the point of showing detail of her having sex on a hero ship after rescuing people from a burining building.

Final Rating: 3.7/5

Mar 21

A Letter To… (Part One)

Previously written January 21, 2009…

As I watched the re-air of the Inauguration Speech from Obama on Nickelodeon (yeah………Nickelodeon. Weird) I began to think about a few of the conversations I had that day. Some were uplifting about the thing, and some were just mad beause Scrubs didn’t air on NBC like it was supposed to because it seemed like it would NEVER END, haha… sorry Andrew…

But one of the most interesting things that was said was from my friend Spencer. “I hope that I’m able to meet him in the next 4 to 8 years.”

And I agreed. Until I thought about it. It would be the first time I would meet somebody and NOT know what to say. Now, there are some people that if I met, I would instantly know how to handle it. If I met Ludacris, I’d try to pick at his brain and see how come he’s so talanted, but co-signs a couple of rappers that are so not… ahem, Playaz Circle.

If I met Morgan Freeman, I’d ask for acting tips, and I’d ask him how does he go about making his movie-role selection.

If I met Bow Wow, I’d probably get into a fight with him, because he just makes me upset.

If I met JoJo or Kyla Pratt, I’d try to get a friendship going, lol… They just seem like cool peoples.

But if I met Obama… I’ve been thinking about this all night, and I know what I would do now. I would just say “Hi, nice to meet you.” And I’d hand him a letter. And after I was rushed by his security for them thinking I was trying to slip him anthrax or something and after I maybe even catch a couple to the head, he’d stop them, and tell them it’s ok. I’d just ask him to read it when he got time. Maybe I’d see him again. Maybe not. But one day, he would get around to reading it. And it would probably say something like this:

Dear President,

Have you seen “The Dark Knight?” I’m sure you have, you seem to be hip to current events and movies. But there’s character in the movie by the name of Harvey Dent. During the movie, he’s played out to be the “White Knight” of Gotham, or the Savior of the city in the face of adversity. Everything that man does during the movie is scrutinized and watched and examined under a magnifying glass. He somehow got a whole city to put their trust in him to the point that if he made ONE MISTAKE, it would be over for the movement against crime.

The status he had in that movie is almost impossible to attain. It’s improbable that one man can garner so much unanimous support from a city. I used to think that. And I still do. But from everyone I’ve seen, you’ve come the closest by far.

Somehow, you’ve gotten people of all different races and sizes and creeds behind what you stand for. Somehow, people are now pulling for you. Regardless of what reasons they have, or why they did it. The point is, you actually motivated a lot of black people (and people in general) to get out and exercise a right that people DIED FOR. And you didn’t do it at gunpoint, lol. Excuse the improper language for a second…but YOOOO, that’s friggin awesome…sir.

I’ve been seeing everyone with these shirts and banners that say “A Dream Fulfilled,” and I wonder exactly what do you think about that? I don’t think that a Black President is what Martin Luther King meant when he said “I Have A Dream”, but it’s definitely a nice added touch to it. It only took 40 years, but it’s to the point now where sometimes I feel like Dr. King would smile at the progress SOME OF US have made as African-Americans.

I say some, because we still have the type of people with the slavery/hood mentality and mindstate. All we can do is pray for them and hope they don’t die before they realize that’s not how life is supposed to be. But anyway, I got off subject for a moment.

I don’t think that you becoming President was “A Dream Fulfilled”, so to speak. I think it was more like, “A Dream Continued…” Because 1) It still seems surreal that it’s actually happened, and 2) because I don’t think that’s the last great feat a Black person’s going to do. The sky is the limit…well, that’s what Young Jeezy told me anyway.

I just wanted to say that I pray that you continue to be led by God. A lot of people see you as their personal “White Knight” (or Dark Knight, depending on what angle you look at it, haha) and although I know you’re bound to make a mistake – because you’re not the Messiah like everyone thinks you are; you’re a man like us – I pray that you are able to rebound from your mistakes and that the people can somehow understand that EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. That was the issue with our last President. Although he was funny as ever to me (he made me laugh so much without trying), he never learned how to win the people back over after he made mistakes, so it got to the point where it seemed like he made mistakes everyday.

Anyway, I pray that it doesn’t end like that for you. I pray for your safety as well, because people are now being more racist than ever. November 4th… the night of the election totals… was the 2nd worse night of my life, because I realized how SCREWED UP and immature my so-called Christian friends are, and it pained me. Makes me wonder sometimes what exactly they think about me when I’m not around…

My name’s Leon Sullen. I’m a normal person. I’m in college, and I work 45+ hours a week at Panera Bread. I love writing. I love music. And although my issues are important because my work spills over to home, and vice-versa, it’s more important for me to be able to say that my grandmother and my parents got to see a Black President with their own eyes. Regardless if it plays out well for us or not, it’s a cultural milestone now. There’s no longer an excuse for people of different races to not be successful.

So I just want to say thanks. Maybe together we can see the dream finally fulfilled… because it’s not fulfilled yet. You know better than anyone that there’s way more to do. So until we get there, I’ll be praying for you, and watching…

Peace to you and your family,

Leon

P.S: Can you pay ALL MY BILLS PLEEEEEEASSSE!?!?! LOL, just kidding. some people believe in you THAT MUCH. Those people might be disappointed, but as far as the people with realistic goals… Maybe you could help them out. Not necessarily financially, but as far as just being a positive leader. That does wonders for a country’s self-esteem…so I’ve heard.

And maybe after my bruises that came from when that ex-basketball player (the Ex-Dukie) jumped me healed, I’d see progress even more as far as people trying to do better. Maybe not. Maybe I’d sue? Haha nah, but I know one thing…

…It’ll be the only fight I’d lose willingly.

But what do I know…I’m just a manager…

Thanks for reading this.

King Eljay

Mar 21

Captain Planet (A King Eljay…Uh…Something…)

Yeah, so thanks to Callie I suddenly have a rant. Wrote this a while back, and forgot to post it, lol…Enjoy this one.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of my cartoons I used to watch a while back, and the gayness of some of their superpowers. One cartoon that just had a bunch of flaws in it EVEN FROM THE CHILD’S VIEWPOINT was notoriously one of the most memorable. But of course…when your name’s Captain Planet, it’s kind of hard to forget it.

But anyway, as usual I will never say something without giving you my theories/reasons to back it up. So, in numerical order:

Flaw # A – “The Make Of The Captain”

Didn't know the Planeteers could fly...

Didn't know the Planeteers could fly...

“If you want to make a superhero guy that connects with kids, make him shiny.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“C’monnnnn! It won’t hurt anything. Just make him shiny. OOOH, make him metallic blue. At the very least it’ll catch some eyes in the supermarket, and we’ll make a few bucks here and there.”

“I like it. Run it by the production team and see what happens.”

Ok, everything that’s shiny isn’t a good idea. There are several ran over dogs that can attest to this fact. I would say something about the green hair mullet, but I don’t need to. The Hulk doesn’t even have green hair. See, look:

See? Dark brown or black. You can obviously see, NOT GREEN.

See? Dark brown or black. You can obviously see, NOT GREEN.

In the words of Robert Downey, Jr. from “Tropic Thunder”… “Never go full retard.”

Flaw # B – “The Name Of The Captain”

Secondly… why did they choose the name Captain? I mean, that’s a pretty low rank to choose. They could’ve called him Major Planet, or Colonel Planet. Why give him the basic promotion?

Oh wait, I know why. Because his weakness is pollution and DIRT. You can’t be a Strike Sargent if you don’t like getting dirty. Other heroes thrive on getting dirty, but good ol Cap’n… oh nooooo… dirt makes him shrivel up quicker than Amy Winehouse’s face. He’s the only superhero I know that can only be restored to full power with a SHOWER.

Flaw # C – “The Quotes Of The Captain”

“Hatred is the most polluting thing on Earth.”

“Planeteers, why don’t you turn this place into something good like the authorities?”

“Outta my sight, parasite!”

“Well, call me Captain Combustion, a spontaneous kinda guy.”

“Face it you two, your evil plans are on the rocks.”

Capt 3

His outfit doesn't look wedgie-proof either...

………………….No more words are needed……………….

Flaw # D -”The…Uh…”

Well…I’ll see if you can figure this one out for yourself. Taken directly from wikipedia.com:

“The five Planeteers are:

Kwame: From Africa, Kwame possesses the power of Earth. He is 18 years old … he is at one with the land and its purpose, and does what he can to preserve it. Unofficially considered the leader of the group…

Wheeler: From North America (specifically Brooklyn), Wheeler controls the power of Fire. At 17 years old, Wheeler is the street-smart comic relief for the group who, while having his heart in the right place, tends to get himself into tight spots with his impulse actions. He also tends to annoy Linka, whom he has an ongoing crush on throughout the series. His compassion and fighting spirit adds to the team’s backbone.

Linka: From the Soviet Union, Linka has the power of Wind… Linka closely studies bird life….She’s also a master of strategy and logic, as well as a computer wiz. …she’s a no-nonsense girl whose common sense has helped the group when in their most critical moments….

Gi: Hailing from Asia, Gi controls the power of water….

Ma-ti: From the Amazon Rainforests of South America, Ma-ti uses the power of heart to instill love, care, compassion, and empathy into the people of the world to care for the planet-“

WHOOOOA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. So HIS style is GrOuNd-BrEaKiNg, SHE can blow people like 50 miles away with tornadic like winds, HE’S a walking BONFIRE, SHE can literally make it rain whenever she feels like it, but Ma-Ti moves on people’s EMOTIONS? Because there’s nothing like making a grown man cry for no reason.

And if you think about it, this power has the power to be functional! He can’t even use it for things in normal life like I would use it. Some people would use it to guilt trip people into taking them somewhere. I got some cousins that would “move” on my grandma’s “heart” to get them better presents, because UNDERWEAR EVERY YEAR just stops getting it done after you hit 10. If you got pulled over by a cop, and he’s about to give you a ticket, ring him and make him escort you the rest of the way…and make him cry the whole time.

See, this power’s functional by all means. That’s not what makes this arguably the gayest power ever.

Check the fine print right here. It said he can only use his power to make people CARE FOR THE PLANET. So this power would not come into effect if you were being robbed in a park. It would come into effect if you saw someone LITTERING in a park.

THAT, and THAT alone is the reason why I HATE the power of HEART. It’s an insult.

I remember this one time when my cousins Joshua, Joseph, Titus, and a friend of the family (Justin) were playing Capt. Planet (cuz we had just got the rings out of a Happy Meal or somethin, I forget) I called dibs on fire. Titus says “I’m Earth!”

Justin says that he wants to be Earth, and Joshua cuts him off and says “With those pants on? You’re gay. You gotta be Heart.”

TRUE STORY. Whenever it becomes an insult, that’s when you’ve officially reached a low, as demonstrated below:

“You stink.”

“Well, your superpower is Heart.”

GAME OVER. YOU LOSE. EVERYTIME.

So…there’s my theory. Everything just comes together in a way that not even Hollywood could script to make this one of the gayest (and most memorable) cartoons of all time for me.

What’s yours?

This has been a King Eljay note. The views expressed above are from a man who's decided to take writing into his own hands... this could get interesting, haha... (kingeljay.wordpress.com)

This has been a King Eljay note. The views expressed above are from a man who's decided to take writing into his own hands... this could get interesting, haha... (kingeljay.wordpress.com)

Mar 21

Padded Room (Album Review)

I need a cool background to pose against...notice how rappers always get cool pics like this? Double standards...

I need a cool background to pose against...notice how rappers always get cool pics like this? Double standards...

King Eljay’s back…sorry if you missed me…album review time. The test subject for today is Joe Budden’s 2nd album, “Padded Room.”

From the beginning of the album, you’re fooled. You actually hear the first line…

“Pump it up if you came to get it on…”

…And you might fall into the category of thinking this is yet another failed attempt at a hip-hop album. It even seems to contradict itself when Joe Budden addresses the name of the album, stating, “I ain’t psycho, don’t belittle me now/It’s just the title ‘cuz they couldn’t figure me out”… So automatically, I have to admit to thinking that Joe Budden might’ve been trying too hard to make an official comeback (although we in the mixtape industry know he’s never left). But before you run with that statement, let me ask you something… When is anything as it ever seems with Mr. JumpOff?

So when the “I ain’t psycho” line came through, I paused and suddenly I because excited because the thing that sets Joey apart from his counterparts is that his insanity is, in a way, what gasses him. Kanye has his ego, Soulja Boy (Tell Em?) has his constant internet/youtube haters, and Joey has his peace of mind… Which might seem peaceful to him, but to US? We know better than to just take his word for it because when he spills his thoughts out over instrumentals, it’s usually something deep and unexpected. But did his “insanity” (using the term loosely) translate into a great hip-hop album?

Yes and no. The issue I had with certain songs on the album like “Adrenaline”, a rock-fueled track that just doesn’t fit, or “If I Gotta Go”, another track that’s weakened by the 45+ second intro and the awkward sample inserted after the hook, is that the presentation of it was just weird. Maybe he meant those tracks to stand out in the way that they did, but compared to his Mood Muzik series, Joe knows about flow, and these tracks really just seem like iPod space fillers…

But the good HEAVILY outweighs the bad, because aside from the two songs I mentioned up top, no song is about what you may originally THINK. “The Future” featuring ex-rap rival The Game (yes, they did beef when Game was in G-Unit) is addressing a guy supposedly telling a girl that he could be her bad guy/future (hypothetically speaking). “Blood On The Wall” has a double meaning to it, as in the first verse he’s addressing his willpower to never stop, and then in the 2nd verse suddenly flips the diss switch on and proceeds to DEMOLISH Prodigy with potent punchlines, ranging from his health disorder, to his previous status before the signing to G-Unit, and then speaking on how even after 50 Cent signed and co-signed him, people STILL didn’t listen to him. Ouch. And of course, there’s the track “Exxes” that basically reassure you that Joe’s brain operates differently than normal people…

I can’t even explain that song. All I can say is you won’t look at relationships the same if you can relate to this. Was he talking about hip-hop? Was it a real life situation? This one raises a lot of questions, but is still potent as ever.

But then…there’s the emotional, “WOW-I-can’t-believe-he-would-put-that-on-wax” tracks that I’ve grown to love from Budden, from “In My Sleep” (my favorite track on the cd), in which his girlfriend addresses him about what he’s doing when he slumbers (and slips in and out of his dreams during the story), to “I Couldn’t Help It”, where he apologizes to a loved one in the first verse, and to his friend in the second verse (which of course, is way more tragically deeper than I made it sound)… The outro track, “Pray For Me”, is a 1-on-1 with God at the gates of Heaven where God present Joe with the question, “Why should I let you in here?”

Overall, this is a hip-hop album. Not necessarily a street album you can market maybe with the force of a Plies or a Ludacris, but as far as pure hip-hop, ad-lids (“ELLLL!!!!”) and storytelling (with a lil’ “Real Talk” laced in every lyric), I’ve yet to listen to someone who can do it consistently than Joe.

Support hip-hop. I got my copy already, ya dig?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

“Padded Room”

Well, it SEEMS comfortable enough...

Well, it SEEMS comfortable enough... but how's the leg room?

The Good: A second album from Joe Budden is BOUND to please his loyal fans. Or hip-hop fans in general. Took long enough, but with more emotional tracks than ever originally thought humanly possible, it was definitely worth the wait. Punchlines? Check. Shock value statements? Check. “ELLLLLLL!!!!” adlibs? Check.

The Bad: A couple of tracks on here just stick out like a sore thumb (“Adrenaline”, “Don’t Make Me”) and doesn’t flow with the album as I would personally like. Also, the presentation of some songs could’ve been tightened up. It makes no sense to have some songs like “Exxes” that are powerful from the intro to the end, and then have other songs that have maybe 2 minutes of excess noise that takes away from the experience as a whole. But that’s just me. Some might not have a problem with it, so judge it for yourself?

The-Wait, Slaughterhouse-Isn’t-On-this-Album- Realization: No. They aren’t, and it makes me sad, because it would’ve been a PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to get some mainstream support behind them. All it takes is one monster song, and the fans will do the rest if the album moves like it’s supposed to.

Final Word: Slaughterhouse-less, but still all-powerful in its’ own right, “Padded Room” is an album that you at least should hear if you like HIP-HOP MUSIC. There are some gems on here that you can still play years from now…ironically, that’s how his first album worked out too. (“Calm Down” off the first album is still one of my favorite songs to DATE) Maybe he’s smarter than all of us?

Rating: 4/5

Mar 21

Introduction

…I had to go ahead and do this. As you know, I have another blog (kingeljay.wordpress.com) also titled “Under The Crown”. I tried to keep it as organized as possible, but I noticed that it’s harder to import things when I have to sort through them, so I just decided to do it like this.

kingeljay.wordpress.com – the home of my personal journals, etc.

K1ngEljay.wordpress.com – the home of my reviews and opinion pieces, and weird theories. Basically, the Facebook/MySpace appropriate stuff. Ya dig?

Also, notice the difference in the name. The first name has no number, it’s just kingeljay. The web address for the second one has a 1 where the I is supposed to be. So it’s K1ngeljay instead of Kingeljay.

Ooooh, I’m clever right?

Anyway, three web addresses for now. One more coming soon…

kingeljay.wordpress.com
k1ngeljay.wordpress.com
hiphopstateofmind.com

Visit them all, yay. Anyway, got reviews coming soon, so just stay tuned…

King Eljay

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